Game of the mo...ment: My Hero

Wow, it's been a while since our last game of the mo...ment, hasn't it?
In our attempt to bring you all the needed details about a game, so you can be sure about what to ask Santa next Christmas, this time we have one of those games for which the public opinion is pretty divided: My Hero.
My Hero is one of these games you can either love or hate, and usually there is no intermediate opinion. Some people say this game is a true candidate for being next to F-16 Fighter in the mystic altar of games that make you puke, and others say it's a great game with an enjoyable gameplay and high replay value. It's up to you to decide, but first read on and find out everything about this little cart.
My Hero was originally released in the arcades in 1985 by Coreland, to finally appear for the SMS in 1986, in the form of a card, to be released later in cartridge version in the days of the SMS 2, when all card games were re-released again as carts due to the SMS 2's lack of a card port.
I remember the times I used to play My Hero in the arcades, lots of years ago, and to be honest I must admit I sucked big time at it. Normally the nineth or tenth enemy would kill me, and then I would play Mikie (another hard as hell game, about escaping from a high school), that was just next to My Hero in that arcade, and return home with a disgusting look in my face, feeling the need to kill somebody.
But somehow I liked My Hero. Maybe I'm a masochist, but that game had a special feeling that made me play again the next day, although I knew the nineth or tenth enemy would kill me again. Bah.
My Hero is the most original game ever. It has such an original and innovative plot that even now it's remembered with joy. Let's see... Steve and Remy were two high school teenagers with lots of money and a special taste for Britney Spears and N*Sync, that used to walk around the park everyday, laughing and talking about their new cars and expensive clothes. On the other hand we have Mohikan, a person that, without knowing that punk died in the late seventies, still wears his mohawk hairstyle, fake tattoos and leather pants. Although he drinks lots of beer, kicks cats and dogs and spits out of the window, he decides he can be even more bad, plans on kidnapping Remy just for fun, and takes her to the beach near the city to do some nasty things to her...
Steve, although being a rich kid, knows that punk died in the late seventies, and hates Mohikan with all his heart but never had a coherent excuse to beat the crap out of him. And now, when he finds himself lying in the park with a stupid look in his face, after receiving a punch in his stomach, and seeing Mohikan run away with his lovely Remy, decides it's time to make him pay for all the cats and dogs he has kicked, and runs after him.
And the adventure begins! But Mohikan is not alone in his quest for being the most evil punk in the city, he has hundreds... oh no, millions of friends that will do anything to stop Steve. Now take the control pad, you're Steve now. What? Are you saying that you've heard this plot millions of times? Nah, I don't believe you, liar!
My Hero is yet another Kung Fu Master clone, with its advantages and disadvantages. The advantages are you don't have to learn a huge manual, navigate through endless menus and you won't ever get struck because you don't know what to do next. If you have a pair of strong thumbs, you're ready to go. The disadvantage is games like this can be boring as hell. And besides this, this particular game can be reeeally frustrating. Millions and millions of cloned enemies coming to you so fast that you'll wonder about the insane sexual activities of their mother. One single hit and you lose a life. Repetitive music that will remain in your head for weeks. But I must admit once more I like it :)
Your mission is divided into rounds, but nobody knows, to my knowledge, how many rounds it has, since they seem to go on forever. I like the game, but honestly haven't bothered to find out about it, since it becomes so repetitive and hard that you'll end loving having to study for your final exams, cleaning your room, taking the dog out or cutting your nails, just for having an excuse for turning the power off...
Anyway, the first two rounds are enjoyable, and I know some day I'll try to find out if this game really has an ending.
You start the game with the silly intro scene, where all the plot is condensed. You're walking around the park with Remy, Mohikan comes running and takes her, that's all, and suddenly the hundreds of enemies I talked about earlier start coming to you. You are in the city, and the same kind of punk wearing a stripped T-shirt (that must be pretty fashionable among punkies, I don't know) tries to kill you, while his brothers throw empty beer bottles from their previous night drunk party at you. The good thing is you can punch these bottles and eliminate with a single hit a couple of punks that come running at you. Occasionally, a weirdly short punk with the same old stripped shirt (I guess it must be some kind of sponsor) appears, and will throw knifes at you. Don't try to be smart and punch the knifes, it won't work (I must admit I tried).
After the city, you come to the second "sub-scene". It features some kind of strange ruins (I guess the programmers ran out of ideas one more time about what to put there), while bombs appear from god knows where (maybe it's God himself who throws them). Avoid them, and you come to the third sub-scene (yeah, I know this game can't actually be divided into so many sub-scenes, but it looks prettier this way, doesn't it?), where the punks have been smoking large quantities of joints without putting out the fire, so flames start coming from the floor and you'd better avoid them. Exciting, eh?
And when you think you're going to discover something completely different, oh surprise, it's the same city again! But this time the stripped enemies are much much much much stronger, since they do a stupid flying kick that will make you wonder about what kind of kung fu movies the programmers have watched looking for inspiration. But while the back scenario is exactly the same, with its nice green buildings (quite a psychedelic city), somebody appears. It's no less than the classic and infamous "pig-riding punk", one of the true trademarks of The Ela Fountain! I must admit this is one of the most hilarious and exciting (exciting? what have I smoked?) enemies to appear in a videogame ever. Somebody must have stolen his motorbike or something, but this little person comes fast to you, riding a cute pig with the only purpose of killing you. Just imagine him later, telling his girlfriend that "oh yeah, I killed him with my loyal pig". One thing is true, this character alone makes the whole game worthy!
At a certain point of this part of the game, four little bulldogs appear in the screen (or four billions if you stand still), and here is an interesting tip for earning as much lives as you want. Kill the first three, but jump over the fourth and kill him from behind. Repeat it as much as you want, and voila! Sorry, but I've just noticed I don't have a pic of the damned bulldogs.
And finally, you arrive at the beach, the place where you meet Mohikan in person, face to face. Don't ask why, but now Steve's strength has increased a lot, since now you can resist a grand total of ten hits before you die. The same happens with Mohikan, and everything is featured in a nice and innovative life bar that has separate metaphoric icons for both of you. Your icon is the heart, and Mohikan's is a skull (what else? Mohikan is eeeevil!). Will the power of love win over the power of evil? If not, don't throw away your reputation telling it to your friends, since defeating Mohikan is pretty easy.
When you defeat Mohikan, he shows his real feelings. While crying, he tells Steve that he's still a virgin, and he only wanted to screw Remy, but nothing else, since his stripped-shirt friends were laughing at him all the time. Steve forgets about his revenge and offers Mohikan a menage a trois with Remy, but what?! No, Mohikan doesn't have such a dirty mind, so he punches Steve and takes Remy again, to the next city.
The bad thing is, when you think this time the game will be slightly different, you find the same exact city again (with a few differences), with more or less the same old enemies (and some new ones, like the condom-throwing frogs).
So yes my friends, this game has apparently no end, until someone confirms it has one, I guess you could spend a whole day playing My Hero and the only end you would ever see would the "Game Over" screen you watch when you lose all your lives...
But My Hero is pretty entertaining for a while, give it a try!

Come to the second part of this review, called "what have you missed"!

Info and scans
Click to enlarge
Title: My Hero
Released in: 1986
Serial number: 4001 (card) 4051 (cartridge)
Players: 1 or 2
Levels: Too many


My Hero, 1985
Graphics: 4
Sound: 3
Playability: 4
Pig riding-punk: 10