Lame mail
Also known as: e-mails that ask stupid questions, ask for roms, or ask annoying questions. More will be added as time passes (I have plenty of them).
send something? Are you sure? :)
From: Rom maniac
Subject: roms

Q: Hi Iīve seen you own many Japanese games. Please mail them to me at I need Miracle Warrior Alex Kidd bike game and all of them. Thanx.
A: Oh, the classic rom beggar. First of all, I donīt have any actual Japanese game (wish I did!), and second, if youīre talking about ROMS, I have some Japanese ones, but I wonīt send them to you. Why? Because you can find them with a 3 minute search at any search engine, my site is not about emulation, I will always encourage playing the real thing (an actual SMS console hooked up to a TV set), you havenīt been polite enough, I donīt have the time, and...I donīt want to :) Oh, Iīve seen you have a lot of money, please send it to me. I need $500.

Sometime in 1999 I placed an ad at SMS Zone. I said there that I wanted to buy Wonder Boy in Monster World, Miracle Warriors, Phantasy Star and Ys. This is an e-mail I got:

From: I cannot read
Subject: yo (this is the actual subject he sent me)

Q: Hi there i want to buy Wonder Boy Miracle Warriors Phantasy Star and Ys. What do you want for them email me back soon
A: Why is this kind of people unable to put a single comma between words? Man, Iīm Spanish and very often I write in English far better than them. Well, the ad said I wanted to BUY these games, not sell them. Besides, if I remember well, I also specified that the seller had to be from Spain, and this guy doesnīt seem to be from there (maybe heīs one of those that think that Spain is in Mexico?). I canīt sell them to you because I donīt have them, sorry.

...And he replied:
From: I already said I cannot read
Subject: hey (again, actual subject of the message)

Q: i have sonic the hedgehog and some more, if u r interested mail me back I want these games
A: Whatīs wrong with you? At least he put a comma this time (only one, though). I already have Sonic, and also some more, but in case I didnīt, I couldnīt be interested because I donīt have these games, Iīm looking for them, I want to BUY them, not SELL them!!!

He never replied...fortunately.

Back in the day, in one of the first versions of The Ela Fountain, called then meSMerizeS, I used to have an edited pic of me with some SMS characters, and I wrote some imaginary stories about me and them. What I thought was a nice idea, seemed to not being very welcome by some people like this guy...
From: Iīm a man, not a child
Subject: Your sms site

Q: Hi there, cool site you have there. But the picture of yourselve with the games characters? Come on, donīt be silly, they donīt exist in real life. This is weird.
A: Are you kidding? What are you going to say next? Something like "Santa is your parents"? Hey, I liked the picture of "myselve", so I have a special gift for you. Do you like it?

This is one of the most annoying e-mails Iīve ever received:
From: Iīm lost
Subject: Iīm really lost

Q: Hello congratulations. I have a question: How do I send an SMS with images?
A: Hello. Congratulations for you too, for asking the most stupid question of the last months. I guess youīre talking about mobile telephones, or something like that? I have no idea about it, since I donīt even have one. Let me answer the question as it should be. Well, if you want to send a Sega Master System with pictures, you just have to have an SMS and some pictures, pack everything and mail it. Easy, huh?

Oh, let's stop inventing fake names, isn't it plain stupid?

Subject: Sell me your games
I want to buy Out Run 3D, Phantasy Star and  a couple of cards from your games for sale list. Prices?

Out Run 3D: Your car.
Phantasy Star: Your wife.
A couple of cards: Your genitals in a Coke bottle.
Oh wait, games for sale list? No, I don't have one of those, I think it clearly says "these games are NOT for sale". Learn to read properly.

Subject: Roms
Your site is nice, but it needs emulators and roms. Any SMS site must have roms and emulators, because it's the true spirit of the SMS nowadays. Can you mail me Alex the kid in the BMX world and Altered Beast?

Argh, what a fixation with roms and emulators. Must any SMS site have roms and emulators? I don't think so, mainly because this is a fan site, about the real SMS console, and its real cartridges and peripherals, collecting, reviving memories, discussing... Using roms is nice because you can take screenshots or try games you'll never have the chance to play at home (Japanese ones come to mind), but it's nothing compared to playing the actual system, hooked up to your TV set. Besides, there are plenty of rom sites out there, there's no need for one more. Besides, roms are not even close to what I call "original content". Besides, I host my site in a free server, that means that surely I'm not allowed to host roms (I'm not going to check), and I don't have the necessary bandwidth for having a decent collection of roms (and I'm not going to upload two roms, that would look ridiculous). So no, no roms here.
"Alex the kid in the BMX world"?? Oh god... I can't send you that rom, but I can send you "Joe the snake and the louses under his bed"