This is what you have missed...the arcade version of My Hero!
I said in the beginning of this game of the mo...ment, My Hero was first released
in the arcades, first in Japan under the name of Seishun Scandal (what means
more or less "adolescent scandal", an indeed more appropiate title
for an illegal porn movie than for a videogame, that's true), and then in the
rest of the world. This arcade version had an interestingly high difficulty
level, and that, added to the fact the game wasn't really very good, didn't
really help to its popularity... So I'm sure nobody bothered to try and find
what was after the first level, which was exactly the same as the SMS version.
I have! And there are more levels that were left out of the SMS version for
whatever reason (I guess the programmers' sheer laziness), besides some other
little things I thought would be interesting to comment to make this review
a bit more complete. Read on if you want to know it all! (and call your doctor
if you really do).
first level of the arcade version is, as I said, the same as the whole SMS game,
but with better graphics (obviously), a maybe higher difficulty (and frustration)
level, go figure, and an exciting new move, a new silly punch to avoid the cheap
beer bottles that the punks will throw at you.
No stupid frogs in the whole level though, and the worst part, there's not
a single appearance of our lovely friend the pig-riding punk! When I found
out about that, I was about to cut my veins, but then I noticed a nice fire
ball that comes from nowhere to kill you if you don't move for about two seconds.
Talk about realistic games.
But after the battle against Mohikan, things start to become interesting.
Mohikan stands in the beach crying and will eventually become a New Kids On
The Block fan, while a ninja comes running, takes Remy and disappears into
a time machine, that looks more like those little bottles you take to the
campings (boo, I guess there must be an exact word for that in English, but
I didn't find it. Do you know it? Let me know here,
obviously follows him, and you arrive to the feudal Japan, in a totally new
(although similar to the first) level! Here, instead of the typical punks, some
ninjas will attack you, throwing shurikens, and eventually a short and bald
person dressed in red will appear, throwing even more shurikens at you (at least
he doesn't move...or does he? Read on!).
thing that was left out of the SMS version is your gay brother, a guy dressed
in pink, that has been kidnapped and tied by your enemies and is been taken
to somewhere. Kill his kidnapper, and you'll have the totally useful help of
a person that makes the same movements as you and dies in about 5 seconds, being
hit by an enemy from behind or any other thing. Bah.
hey, what's that? Suddenly the same ugly bald ninja comes fast to you, but this
time he's riding not a pig, but a wild boar! (straight from my dictionary).
You can't imagine how happy I was to see the grandfather or our friend the punk!
There are beaches in Japan, too, and there is where the battle against the ninja
is held. Kill him (pretty much harder than Mohikan), and suddenly a new character
appears, takes Remy and enter the time machine again! Who could it be?
it seems that your new enemy comes from another planet, and your journey has
taken you through space and time! You are now in a wasted civilization, ruled
by monkeymen, and your enemy is no less than the king of this planet. Again
the same kind of gameplay, but this time with the nice scenario of rocks, buildings
in the distance and high-tech buildings, while being attacked by gay monkeys
that come from the sky while doing a totally shameful dance.
even this planet has beaches, and there is, once more, where your final battle
will happen. Defeat the evil king of the apes, and you'll finally rescue Remy.
But what's that? Oh, it's Mohikan once again, still a virgin, that has forgotten
about NKOTB and comes fast ready to take Remy again and finish what he had started
in the first place. And that's the truth, you'll find yourself again at the
city, then in Japan, then in the planet of the apes, and that cycle will repeat
itself again and again and again... Just as boring as the SMS version, but at
least this version has three different levels instead of one....oh, and a wild