I´m sure all of you remember Professor Playor. He was a dirty old man who appeared on the last pages of your SMS manuals, and used to give you some advice and tips. Most of them were
You should go to hospital if...
I´m the master, the great Professor Playor!!! You´re dead without me, kids!
quite stupid and crappy tips, and you used to imagine them even before playing the game. He was fired due to the constant complaint letters that were sent to Sega during the 80s, and Professor Playor began his business appearing in weird B porn movies. Anyway, in fact we loved him, but he was too arrogant for our innocent children minds. I called him the other day, and asked if he would be willing to return to the SMS world. He said of course, and now he´s runing this, the Ela Fountain medical page. Here the Professor will give you his wise advice, but this time it´s not about tips, now it´s about your own health! Listen to the Professor and discover if you´ve been playing too much SMS lately...
- You go to surgery to make your fist bigger and be able to break rocks
- You visit every shoe store in your city asking for a pair of Legendary Boots
- You carry a bird everywhere you go, just in case someone attacks you
- You try to convince your friends that tigers jump wider, monkeys jump higher, and hippopotamus can break walls
- You carry a thousand axes in your pockets
- You try to walk on clouds
- Your only goal in life is to have a red Ferrari and a blonde girlfriend
- You visit second hand shops asking for a Salamander Cross
- You name your cat "Myau"
- You are annoyed when you watch some far west movies and can´t see the Light Phaser anywhere
- You explore your house´s basement looking for Dracula and the family jewels
- Your favourite movies are Rambo, Rocky and Ghostbusters
- Your favourite board games are Monopoly and Shangai
- You ask your parents why the hell you and your brother were called Michael and Peter instead of Billy and Jimmy
- You search for money into the trees and clouds
- You always carry a bell just in case you get lost
- You don´t want to be a plumber
- You think that ducks are blue, and wear stupid ties
- You try to find milk, fruit and eggs on the street
- Also, you wonder why you´ve never seen a spotted egg
- When you meet a punkie, you ask him where his pig is
- You suspect that the Pandora Passage is at your school
- When someone wants to punch you, you challenge them for a paper / rock / scissors game
- You change your name to Alex
- You record the Out Run music on a cassette and play it on your car while you´re driving
- You often have wet dreams thinking about your SMS collection
- You think every spaceship should have wings and legs
- You don´t want to ride an F-16
- You go to school with only your underwear and an armor
- Your e-mail address is segamastersystem@hotmail.com
- Your Geocities password is smsrules
- You only want to marry a girl called Alis
- You make a web site about the Master System
- You often dream about programming new games for the Master System
- You think Tonka is synonym of Satan, doom, death and destruction
- You think Dreamcast is synonym of Satan, doom, death and destruction
- You guess NES stands for "Non Exciting Stuff"
- You would sell nude photos of your sister in order to buy a complete Ultima 4
- You swear Sega created Mickey Mouse
- You go to California to practise "foot bag"
- You travel to Mexico, and call everybody "nino"
- You are reading "The treasure island"
- Your internet nickname is Treo
- You laugh when someone tells you that Odin is a viking god
- You wonder which one was first: Conan or Rastan
- You go to school wearing an SMS t-shirt
- You ask the girls: "SMS or NES"?

Have you been playing too much SMS lately?
E-mail your symptoms to Professor Playor!