Hi everybody, and welcome to 'what the... <insert offensive word here>?'. This is a fairly new section in The Ela Fountain, basically a funny section. Here you will find some weird, strange, funny, humorous, or just plain stupid things that can be found in SMS games, boxes, magazines, or even in real life, always related to the SMS. Read on and...enjoy!
• Black Belt grafitti
What do we have here? Oh, yes, it's the end of the second stage in Black Belt, where we meet that weird person with a mini-boomerang and exotic clothes. But that's not the main thing here. In a desperate attempt to make the place look like a scary, dark suburb, the graphic programmers have added a special little touch to the walls: grafitti. Take a close look to that grafitti: "Go", "Fight", "You". That's all. Isn't it scary? I've never seen grafitti like that in my entire life, but that must have been writen by really tough punks...
• Stupid characters #1
You can find this little person in Alex Kidd: The Lost Stars. This stage is called 'the world of make believe', and it's full of strange enemies, like flowers with tongue, or one-eyed foxes. But while these are somewhat normal, we also
meet a naked guy, with red hair, a horrible tooth and sunglasses, that's shooting skulls from his ass. Oh well, if he at least was shooting standard excrements, then I would have no problems, but come on, he's shooting skulls! And blue ones!! I wonder what the hell has he eaten to have this kind of outrageous digestion. In the picture above, we can see that Alex has just been defeated by the impact of a blue skull...and I understand it. I would surely die too if someone would shoot a skull from his ass.
• Enduro Racer: To be or not to be
Almost everyone of us has played that cute racing game that's Enduro Racer, right? And many of us have reached the final race and seen the ending, although feeling a huge temptation of turning the system off due to boredom. But what really catches your attention is the fact that, while this is nothing but a silly game of winning races and crashing motorbikes, its ending makes you feel like you have a serious lack of self-esteem and you're talking to your psychiatrist. I specially love the part that says: 'this game is then dedicated to all of the life riders who have started out on the solitary trip to find their own individual limits'. I guess the programmers felt that they could help make the world a better place by inserting these helpful messages, but... can you ever think of the possible previous ending messages that were rejected for being 'a bit too much'? Here is an example:
-Rejected Enduro Racer ending:
"Enduro" is, as we like to call it here, a simple way of meeting yourself for the very first time.
In this lonely world we're living, many of us feel sad and deceived, but let me
tell you something: I'm a Japanese programmer, but I'm just a human being just like you. By playing this game, and riding a virtual motorbike right until the end, you find out that you can achieve just anything you want in this hard life we're living.
There's no victor or loser in this lonely trip, there's no god or satan. You, and only you have the power to live your own life, through mistakes, pain and sorrow.
This game is then dedicated to the center of your mind, where a little person called "Silver Salmon" rules your own world of fantasy and the existance of everything on the surface of the Earth.
You and Silver Salmon have the power to reach the glory, even if it comes in the shape of a symbolic race against death.
Last, but not least, may we sincerely congratulate you for your skills with the control pad.
Rejected ending stolen from Sega Enterprises, Japan, 1987